One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
