I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
