Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
