just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
