I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
