youre lurking in front of me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize