he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
