I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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