I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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