were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
