So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
