Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
