I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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