If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
