I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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