I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
