Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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