If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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