ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
