I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
