i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize