I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
