Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
