i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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