I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize