I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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