Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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