Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
