I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
