I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
