Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
