I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just pee around me
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
