so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
