There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
