That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
