You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Randomize
