her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
