how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
