I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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