at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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