I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So squirting runs in the family.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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