Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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