i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We have so much sex to catch up on
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
