I can tuck mytits in my pants
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
