You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize