I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize