you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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