Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
