your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
