Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
