Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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