I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
we're so committed to being not committed
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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