Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
