I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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