Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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