so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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