I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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