I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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