One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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