Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
